Thankful for MIVida

Today seems like the perfect day and time to give thanks to my life partner, affectionately known as MiVida.    As I read through my blog, it may not be clear what an amazing partner I have.  I write about issues and problems, but I don’t think I spend enough time sharing just the joy of living with MiVida.  So for the ones listed below and others too numerous to mention, I give thanks for MiVida.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE:  I’m not sure if everyone knows what it is like to be loved unconditionally – I can wake up and look like s*!*#, and he greets me with the same smile as when I am all dressed up and ready to go out.  Of course, both our eyesights are fading, but it has always been that way

GENEROUSITY:  I have been loved generously and I have known what it is like to live generously.  Even when we didn't have very much (and maybe in the future when we don’t) MiVida has always understood what’s important in life – education for all the children (even spread out on 10+ credit cards), trips together to remind us why we started all this together so long ago, great dinners at interesting places, opportunities to help others, gifts for family and friends – it’s always just been easy.  He isn't extravagant – he just gets it.  Money is only money.  It’s what you do with money that counts. He isn’t saving for tomorrow as much as he is investing in each and every day.

TRUE FRIEND: We just love doing things together.  We make everyday things more fun because we share them.  Maybe it’s just a walk on the beach, or maybe it’s taking the grandkids to eat, or maybe it’s just a quick errand.  He’s always up for the adventure, and he knows how to be really present.  Sometimes, he sees me hunched over the computer with a less than pleasant crease in my forehead, and he'll say – “OK, time to get out.”  His timing is perfect.

AMAZING DAD AND ABO:  No one could love their children and grandchildren more.  This man doesn't cry, but I have seen his tears when it involves a child or a grandchild.  He is never too busy to help, spend time, cook or just be there for them.  We have a family Sunday dinner almost every Sunday.  All of the children and their children are invited, and he makes amazing meals.  He still hasn't figured out that we are feeding less than 20, but everyone appreciates the leftovers.

So, is he perfect?  Of course not, he still tells me the news I’ve already read, repeats his stories, keeps the house too cold, and other things I’ll continue to blog about – but is he perfect for me?  OF COURSE.  I never knew more than 50 years ago that life could be so beautiful with MiVida.  He is.…My LIFE!

Baby It's Cold INSIDE

I have just uncovered another tricky area in the first year of retirement.  The problem is temperature.  You see, MiVida is a Polar Bear.  He loves all things cold and wears shorts year round.  He likes to get up in the morning and blow smoke rings with the cold air in winter.  I am NOT a polar bear, and I'm always cold.  It wasn’t really a problem for me when I was working.  I would shower and dress quickly and rush to my warm office and classroom as soon as possible.  I often worked late so when I dragged myself home, my husband was open to heating the house so I would be less grumpy.  I’m really not fun to be around when I’m grumpy and being cold makes me very very grumpy.

Now that I’m retired, we almost had a “melt down”- pun intended – trying to figure out the heating issues.    The conversation went something like this:

Me:         “I’m a little cold.  Let’s turn on the heater."

MiVida:   “I’m not cold."

Me:         “What part of “I” don’t you understand?"  

MiVida:  "Well, when the heater is on, my nose gets stuffed up because there is no humidity 

                 in the house.”

Me:          “Well, when my feet are frozen, my brain doesn’t work very well, and I need it to 

                  work when I’m in my office”

MiVida  “It’s not cold.”

Me:  No comment....(There are no words for what I was thinking or at least for this blog since it is G rated most of the time.)

Then MiVida realized that we were having a particularly bad moment, and he went and researched small stand-alone heaters and found one that was economical and safe.  Now it is installed in my office, and I’m happily working away and enjoying warmth.  When he wants me to leave the office, he agrees to heat other rooms.  He really isn’t a tyrant, and he is the most generous man I know.  He is just a Polar Bear, and he has a real fear of melting. 

Retirement Rule # 4:   Be sure you work out environmental issues when you share space with a loved one on a more permanent basis.